tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21638872882608566532024-03-05T12:56:42.223+05:30Surification...Mostly JLTMukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-20938526156148439142015-06-14T17:36:00.000+05:302015-06-14T17:37:11.769+05:30THE one and ONLY middle age crisis!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnbcwp1bvQug-BgIm4bsyvXFrYD8dLCpoTjZH0_fdK3yeG8Q08HJPI3zEDIsLPIa5ADc9j8_UvCYztpthbJNRS67Lv2DqqiG-KU6ouVE1M8FESD9EwB3AxwkRKV2bI9hGEYm0NyMbbIys/s1600/john_development.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnbcwp1bvQug-BgIm4bsyvXFrYD8dLCpoTjZH0_fdK3yeG8Q08HJPI3zEDIsLPIa5ADc9j8_UvCYztpthbJNRS67Lv2DqqiG-KU6ouVE1M8FESD9EwB3AxwkRKV2bI9hGEYm0NyMbbIys/s640/john_development.gif" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, think of any <b>middle age man</b>… someone you know would be good. And we’re going to be talking more about ‘middle age’ definitions later so assume to the best of your understanding for now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now offer this gentleman the <b>once in a lifetime opportunity</b> to select one of the following miracles that would come true instantaneously at no cost nor hidden conditions:</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Get to lay the most passionate <b>fantasy girl </b>he may want to – say multiple times!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Get a set of <b>fancy wheels </b>that he may have been dreaming about since he was a kid. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Have the most <b>ultimate Playstation/Xbox </b>set complemented with a <b>200 inch screen </b>of his choice</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Magically get a<b> head full of real hair</b> – dense, homogenous, distributed from the fringes of the temple, to the ‘right’ forehead starting point, all the way up to the elusive top-of-the-mound. Dark. Black perhaps. Growing at a standard healthy rate. Tough enough to withstand experimentations and persistently forgiving enough to allow for various styles and fashions. Immune to running-your-hands-through-it in any direction with any frequency. Challenging for a fine-toothed comb, but resistant enough to leave nothing on the comb itself. </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In a <i>scientifically conducted*</i> survey it has been established that <b>184% </b>of males chose the fourth option. Only because in such a survey these middle aged men just kept on and on and on clicking on option #4 fervently as though it was a <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/digits/2014/10/17/xiaomi-flash-sales-prove-popular-in-india/">Xiaomi Phone flash sale in India</a> and convinced that clicking harder and multiple times would get them there. The fantasy girl would have had to go back home alone in a Ferrari carrying her Xbox 360 with her!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, for men, middle age is when the hair doesn’t just start to go, but has made considerable progress towards that objective and also made its intentions of leaving you for good substantially clear! All while you were busy enjoying your pre middle age years! From the teens and early twenties –when all male group discussions are about women – to the late twenties and early thirties – when it’s work/money/technology (and how work/money/technology can get more women, of course) – to the ‘later’ years when it’s certain that pate comparisons are going to dominate male bonding discussions (and how money/technology can help get more hair which perhaps can still get some random women). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Get-hirsute-quick schemes are the only ones more common on the internet than the get-rich-quick ones. And actually the get-hirsute-quick schemes ARE in fact get-rich-quick schemes for those peddling these scams, seeing that men are willing to rub anything from distilled water packaged in vials labeled ‘<i>Secret Potion</i>’ to ‘<i>Simple Household Remedies</i>’ involving <i>castor oil, olive oil, honey, curd</i>, and <i>lemon </i>when used with a magic ‘<i>Secret Chan</i>t’ to be chanted four times a day with a milk soaked muslin cloth over one’s head (hair growing chants now available at a special price of $99 only for one month!) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Women have it so much more easier. There are no hypocritical changing standards as they are consistently concerned about their looks right from the age they start blabbering their first words (invariably <i>‘I want red hair-clips and a pink skirt’</i>). There is never a hint of graying hair as the very first shadow of a grey is vehemently attacked and soaked, coated, painted or camouflaged into black (or appropriate). A chance bystander strand of wool from a cap/scarf caught in the locks can be unwittingly re-colored just to be safe! And bald spots? Nah!! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8F5KAsOXAZlkjvAuV1-0DNgwnEl6AnY1LUItpb_tNjMPGAMtBjnkw6Z1BZ_xVQSVHP01uj4-ZfQq0V1SboD1KrnLc7t72q5cooW86yjJDiybxbrpJKWJW-vS-zJ6LpKd-RQDna5nHe0o/s1600/23235036-cartoon-bald-man-hopeful-hair-grower-will-give-him-a-hairy-head.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8F5KAsOXAZlkjvAuV1-0DNgwnEl6AnY1LUItpb_tNjMPGAMtBjnkw6Z1BZ_xVQSVHP01uj4-ZfQq0V1SboD1KrnLc7t72q5cooW86yjJDiybxbrpJKWJW-vS-zJ6LpKd-RQDna5nHe0o/s1600/23235036-cartoon-bald-man-hopeful-hair-grower-will-give-him-a-hairy-head.jpg" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m proud to be middle age. Or proud of the fact that being proud of being middle aged is the only sensible option along with avoiding a mirror or any remotely reflective surface altogether. I’m also an avid follower of those enticing folklores that attribute <b>money/wisdom/sexiness</b> to various patterns of male balding and revel in the knowledge that soon I’m going to be all three given the observed trend on top of my head!! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But hey, if those four options above open up anytime soon, just holler out to me anyway!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>*<span style="font-size: xx-small;">under controlled </span></i></span><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">test conditions </i><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">with </i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">adequately desperate </span></i><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">middle aged men</i></div>
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-54643402496202083902015-05-21T13:47:00.003+05:302015-05-21T17:46:40.576+05:30VersionAsAProduct v3.0 (VaaP v3.0)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXxJSCakJ4oBqVFj4MO5O0wILjzAUs6EOelXIaOgOePC4rUkJEH0BmduAcihf0Uh0-vhTmaHdtY0wsbUpg_aSV5ZFn2-Ey3HH20f6chIl3flBr6tFdzBd8W-rAW82-jaKoKq9DJERYnq4/s1600/518907-634030.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXxJSCakJ4oBqVFj4MO5O0wILjzAUs6EOelXIaOgOePC4rUkJEH0BmduAcihf0Uh0-vhTmaHdtY0wsbUpg_aSV5ZFn2-Ey3HH20f6chIl3flBr6tFdzBd8W-rAW82-jaKoKq9DJERYnq4/s640/518907-634030.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
Please note that this is not really a third version of this write-up. I suspect it would be more alluring if perceived to be a third version and hence, for all practical purposes, the first iteration is v3. The next one may be v4 (or might just as likely be v7.2).</div>
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There was a time when the term ‘product’ referred to physically tangible things that one could touch and feel – a car, a Television set, a food processor or a toaster – and each type of product would have a ‘model’ number. Switching to a newer product meant moving to a new model and tiny engravings on riveted metal tags were of little consequence. Different models were significantly different in an obvious manner and didn’t require a footnote change-log to be explained.</div>
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Not so nowadays. We live a life where products can be hard and tangible, soft or virtual, or a combination of both. And with competition being what it is, the need to create differentiation – real or perceived – determines your market growth and profitability. Enter the new fangled obsession with versions:</div>
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<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Creating a new version is the easiest way to get to a <strong>New & Improved</strong>. A v2 <strong>MUST</strong> be better than a v1 even if all that has changed is the color on the packaging, and, as any fifth grader with an understanding of how progression of natural numbers work can tell you, this theoretically provides an infinite capacity to churn out ‘newer’ versions as long as you don’t run short of different colors to package your goods in.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><strong>A higher version is more prestige</strong> – oh so much more respect and admiration. As any fan-boy would tell you (but be vague if asked to explain), the respect and awe that a higher version carries is the stuff social superiority is based on. Between two similar phones with exactly the same feature set, the one running OS v5.0 is much superior to the one on v4.0 (and hey, v5.1 edges out v5.0 and v5.1.2 wins the battle hands down!). </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><strong>Customers can be manipulated.</strong> With software products – tools, operating systems, applications etc., with the creation process not as cumbersome as in the manufacturing space – it becomes so much easier to provide a bare-minimum-incremental-feature (if at all) in a v2 and save some more features for a v3 later (paid upgrade, of course!). <img alt="" class="left" data-mce-src="https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/AAEAAQAAAAAAAAM_AAAAJDIzZjlhOTNiLTYyZmItNGZhMi1hNjFmLWM4YmZlMjlkMjA5Zg.jpg" height="226" src="https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/AAEAAQAAAAAAAAM_AAAAJDIzZjlhOTNiLTYyZmItNGZhMi1hNjFmLWM4YmZlMjlkMjA5Zg.jpg" style="float: left; height: auto; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-right: 30px; max-width: 100%;" width="252" />‘Essential Security Upgrades’ with ‘Critical Stability Fixes’ are the proverbial knife at the throat to help the decision along and often the only newness in a version change other than, of course, that new next fancy number in an arithmetic sequence which is yours to flaunt for free! Add the word ‘beta’ and you can absolve yourself of any responsibility as well.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><strong>Numbers are just not enough</strong>. Let’s face it, some people are numerically challenged and can potentially resist or be oblivious to the number+1 strategy. This represents an underutilized upgrade-customer base with potential revenues. Thus the need to complement versions with creative code names such that people at a social do can talk words instead of just numbers. Snow Leopard, Mountain Lion, Jelly Bean, Lollipop, Unicorn, Werewolf are what you pay for and delight in. And there is a buzz that can be created to overshadow the product itself and get folks interested (how Key Lime Pie lost out to Kit Kat; hey what is Android M going to be? <strong>M</strong>ore-of-the-same?)</li>
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There is good news for those examining career options though. You could well become a <strong>Version Name Expert</strong> as long as you have access to a thesaurus and are suitably familiar with numbers. Keep up skilling though and pick up words in exotic foreign languages from time to time. You’d not want to be replaced by a <strong>Version Name Expert v2.0.</strong></div>
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-49946187141390583812015-05-07T10:10:00.001+05:302015-05-07T10:10:26.238+05:30Pledge your eyes for after you die; Donate your eyeballs right now!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi24PvClX0XfN52CCHesxdLpZZutsu7JYeSchH-yBVFarPjHoo5qzu_-V59ELJ7bIYZi8ZStrAsA9UFfo4vgAmDyepHi4tgPUrEMNf10K-rl0bU6I9edOPVCE7l2dZDVGyy0d1dKqOetxY/s1600/social-media-snooping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="384" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi24PvClX0XfN52CCHesxdLpZZutsu7JYeSchH-yBVFarPjHoo5qzu_-V59ELJ7bIYZi8ZStrAsA9UFfo4vgAmDyepHi4tgPUrEMNf10K-rl0bU6I9edOPVCE7l2dZDVGyy0d1dKqOetxY/s640/social-media-snooping.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Internet monetization demands the-next-click-quick. And the fickle, voyeuristic, interested, intrigued, or just plain perpetually-bored-stiff-with-nothing-to-do nature of the human mind is so ludicrously evident when one looks at what all is being done to catch our attention.</div>
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Here is a sample from a typical FB feed-clutter observed over one calendar day:</div>
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<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">40 things that you did not know about <xyz>. #38 nearly made me cry.</xyz></em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Never before seen pictures of <xyz></xyz></em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">He was just standing in queue. What he did next will shock you. </em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This mother was just standing up for her values. What she says next will bring tears to your eyes</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This made me cry…</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">15 things that can change the way you look at life forever. #14 made me a different person</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This is a brilliant quiz. I found #36 very tricky.</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">WTF! Did I just see this right?</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Shocking Video that made the whole world cry!!!!</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The most adorable child you’ll ever see…</em></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The first dance was epic. Wait till you see what happens next…</em></li>
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If it were not so infuriating, this would be just amazing and nothing short of phenomenally magical. The amount of research that has gone into putting together THAT ONE TANTALIZING message that can entice one to click further is pure genius. Similar research channelized towards World Hunger or Green Energy could have long solved our dominant global problems. But evidently shortening the <strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Mean-Time-From-EyeBall-To-Click</strong> <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">(MTF-ETC)</em> seems to be THE problem to solve instead!</div>
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At heart I’m a marketing professional and understand all the drivers of lure. The packaging, the messaging, the catch-lines, and the fancy promises very often overshadow the product and perhaps they need to - what with the amount of competition existing and the need to get your product noticed. What’s happening now, however, is that there is no product at all!! There is just this clutter mess of nuisance bombarding your online personal space (if there by anything called personal space online any longer), in a bid to record the fact that you visited a page and perhaps glanced over the adverts floating around. </div>
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They say that restraint builds character. How well you manage to stand your ground in the face of temptations is what defines your moral fiber. Don’t drive till you’re 18; don’t drink till you’re able to afford to; don’t gamble your parents’ money; don’t get laid before marriage (<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">some conditions and gender specificity applies</em>)… !</div>
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To all those (human or otherwise) polluting my FB feed and getting a kick out of trying to make me click to take me to a site that adds no value to my existence, and goading me to see <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">#16</strong></em> as it may change my life, I have news…. <span class="underline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">I’ m not biting!</span> I’m building character through abstention… I don’t care about <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">#16</strong></em> and the other fifteen before that, and the fact that I’m not clicking is what gives <span class="underline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ME</strong></span> a kick… honestly!</div>
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To all those noble folks who've pledged to donate their eyes, please let’s save some miles on the eyeballs while we’re still using them. </div>
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-63039627955252839842015-04-21T14:06:00.001+05:302015-04-21T14:57:52.283+05:30Nett Net Neutrality<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Freedom! Ah!! </div>
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The magic word that attracts unchallenged support across all possible segments of society in each and every culture. Everybody loves freedom and just mouthing support for freedom of any nature vociferously has won people Ms. Universe contests (when complemented with appropriately inadequate dresses!). Freedom from politics, from racism, from pollution, from gender inequality, from child labor, and now, from regulated internet access. Whatever! </div>
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Perhaps crime has abated a bit or there is nothing controversial happening politically; whatever be the reason, there seems to be a lot of noise around net neutrality in India. People are crying themselves hoarse on how the Internet has to remain ‘free’ and - secretly - horribly concerned that illegal torrent downloads may be impacted if the malicious corporate giants have their way. </div>
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I have little to offer on the topic given that one can Google out any perspective one wants to hear right now. However while the topic is still fresh and alive, here is my wish list of things I think need to be candidates for neutrality as well:</div>
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<li><b>Road Neutrality: </b>I protest that roads leading to airports, ministers’ houses, houses of ministers’ parents, in-laws, cousins, aunts, ministers’ places of entertainment, etc. are done up better than the roads I need to travel on typically. I pay just the right per unit road tax as anybody else. I demand that all roads be equally rotten and pot hole ridden as those I traverse. </li>
<li><b>TV (non) content Neutrality</b>: I protest that I am being subjected to TV advertising that I did not explicitly sign up for. I’m consuming far too many aerated drinks and potato chips owing to being psychologically conditioned by an overload of their flashy ads simply because such BIG corporate monsters are able to afford to advertize extensively. I also protest that I’m buying too much of expensive lingerie that I cannot bodily wear, again due to successful advertizing blitzes. I demand separate channels for advertizing so that I have a choice to see or to switch to content (if miserably produced Indian family dramas can even be called ‘content’). </li>
<li><b>Power Neutrality</b>: I protest that when it comes to power cuts – scheduled or otherwise – some people (and their localities) are more equal than others. I demand that we all have an equal share of sweaty mosquito ridden nights.</li>
<li><b>Water Neutrality</b>: I demand transparency to evaluate difference between the ‘fresh’ water coming through the tap and the stuff going down the pot! Or I demand that the RO purifier companies subsidize my filtration expense if I commit to only drinking water through their systems. </li>
<li><b>Air Quality Neutrality</b>: I demand that vehicles be allowed to ply only in designated smoking areas and not in public places for exactly the reason smoking is mandated there. </li>
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Okay I’ve changed my mind… here’s my take on Net Neutrality – only so that this also pops up on Google when you’re looking for perspectives.</div>
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<b><i>Just give people the choice</i></b>. It’s really as simple as that and it’s been done a million times earlier so am not sure what the hullabaloo is all about. There is free voice calling available on volunteering to hear advertising clips. There are internet freebies available if one completes random surveys or subscribes to mailers. It’s ALL over the place and has been for a long time. Just ask people:</div>
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<li>Do you want (potentially) cheaper Internet with certain businesses allowed to become more prominent on your screen?</li>
<li>Do you want unsubsidized Internet with this much vaunted ‘freedom’ built in so that you can do all your naughty stuff at ease and not feel used? </li>
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Admittedly there are people who are currently totally internet-less and could benefit from someone funding their access. And there are those who can afford freedom and should be allowed to purchase it. Freedom has a price tag!</div>
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Ask the folks in China. </div>
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-45492347555878928192015-03-02T11:18:00.000+05:302015-03-27T11:21:34.342+05:30< Vaguely Familiar > has Endorsed you…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline-block; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: middle; zoom: 1;"><a class="share-button share-facebook" data-li-uetrk-action="share" data-li-uetrk-click="share-fb" data-share-type="facebook" href="https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2Fpulse%2F20141102190944-4301550--vaguely-familiar-has-endorsed-you&t=%3C%20Vaguely%20Familiar%20%3E%20has%20Endorsed%20you%E2%80%A6" role="button" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #96999c; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span aria-hidden="true" class="icon" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #425f9e; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><span class="label" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clip: rect(1px 1px 1px 1px); font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: 1px; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; position: absolute !important; vertical-align: baseline; width: 1px;">Share on Facebook</span></a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline-block; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: middle; zoom: 1;"><a class="share-button share-googleplus" data-li-uetrk-action="share" data-li-uetrk-click="share-gp" data-share-type="googleplus" href="https://plus.google.com/u/0/share?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.linkedin.com%2Fpulse%2F20141102190944-4301550--vaguely-familiar-has-endorsed-you" role="button" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #96999c; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span aria-hidden="true" class="icon" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #d23d23; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><span class="label" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clip: rect(1px 1px 1px 1px); font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: 1px; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; position: absolute !important; vertical-align: baseline; width: 1px;">Share on Google Plus</span></a></li>
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<img alt="" class="left" data-loading-tracked="true" height="312" src="https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/shrinknp_200_200/p/8/005/097/078/093feb7.jpg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 30px 15px 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="320" />For those of you regular on LinkedIn, here’s a mail you could well see in your mailboxes sometimes in the near future:</div>
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Congrats! One of your contacts has endorsed you as:</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Master Endorser!!</strong></h2>
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Don’t get me wrong… I like being thought of as ‘skillful’ as much as any other guy; and people recognizing my skills gratifies me as it would probably do anyone else. But the LI approach to skills baffles me!</div>
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I chanced upon the LI page of our new <a href="http://in.linkedin.com/in/narendramodi" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #96999c; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Indian Prime Minister</a>. LI flatteringly informed me that I had a common skill with the honorable Minister and a quick mouse-over indicated that we both possessed ‘<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Leadership</strong></em>’ skills! It’s definitely very encouraging that we both possess this niche capability putting us in an exclusive group of Leaders, but disappointingly from his remaining skills – <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Administration, Organizational Leadership, Governance, Policy</em> and <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Politics</em> (ostensible of the non-corporate variety), there were no other common grounds that could encourage me to dream big! It’s also surprising that the honorable Minister has <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="underline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">only these skills</span></em> and is tasked with the daunting job of running a country of 1.3 billion individuals. Had he had a stint in any corporate house and, better still, an IT or Services organization, his skill set would have ballooned to be proportionate with the portfolio he is currently handling.</div>
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The LI model around ‘<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">skillification</em>’ is basically skimming profiles for jargons and offering these as skills. And then sanctifying these by opening them up for ‘endorsements’. I like LI ‘<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Recommendations</strong></em>’. There is effort required in writing one and there is value in the content and illustrations offered by recommenders. I’ve never received a recommendation I’ve not cherished and I’ve never written one that was rejected by recommendees. Skill Endorsements seem to have been designed as poor proxy for ‘Recommendations’ devised purely because ‘Recommendations’ could not become a volume game. It’s the<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> hotdog-on-a-stick</em> option as compared to<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fine dining</em>, with the expectation that it serves the same purpose and has the same credibility.</div>
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The thing about Skill Endorsements is that the intrusive manner in which they pop up on the top of your screen necessitates dismissing them, and the easiest way to do that is to click the buttons and be done with it! With complete disregard to the sense of incredulity you may be seeding, in an impulsive moment of weakness (or impatience), upon the person you’re endorsing.</div>
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Some more of my ramblings on the concepts of Skills and Endorsements:</div>
<ul style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 30px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My team members reporting into me have more skills and endorsements for those skills than I do. If we were to be completely transparent, this can cause a few issues during assessment cycles. I dread those tricky cross examinations where my ability to assess is challenged based on quantum of endorsements… it’s only a matter of time in my opinion.</li>
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<ul style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 30px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The only thing that is more irksome than a total online stranger – that’s someone you brushed pass in a plane aisle and ended up exchanging email IDs – endorses you, is when your high school classmate – who is a connection only because you share the same educational institute – endorses you. It’s embarrassing to be publically certified by someone who has absolutely no clue but is probably going to be offended if you ignore the endorsement.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My office mail boy is on LI and somehow a connection (for many it’s still Facebook with a slightly different URL), and recently Endorsed me for ‘<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Strategy Skills</em></strong>’. Which would be gratifying if it were not so confounding. Such an endorsement is as confusing and perplexing as it would be if the neighbor’s pretty wife were to endorse me for <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Pleasing Body Odor</strong></em>. If the mail boy, who doesn’t even know my departmental function, blesses my <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Strategizing</em> (or – hypothetically – the neighbor’s wife publically approves of my personal hygiene), I evidently have bigger problems than I know of!!</li>
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This is a classic case of garbage-in garbage-out. The mailer seeking your permission to accept an endorsement states “<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Endorsements help show what you're great at</em>” but I beg to disagree. Much though I would like to believe there are some complex algorithms at play that offer an endorsement opportunity to a carefully identified individual based on extensively validated professional interlocks, one quick look at my own data set – i.e. who has endorsed me for what all – puts to rest any such fanciful expectation of AI.</div>
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Forgive my cynicism, but I just think this is a poorly implemented concept. Within a set of peers in a loosely defined industry domain, this is going to be like an arithmetic function that would eventually tend to infinity. Don’t despair if you don’t have enough endorsements yet… given enough time and traction, eventually you will have the very same endorsements in probably the same numbers as all your peer connections and these are likely to amount to pretty much the same…<span class="underline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">nothing</strong></span>!</div>
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-31090353135251584032015-02-02T11:13:00.000+05:302015-03-27T11:15:30.361+05:30This Post could change your life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">(… and help to regrow hair on your head!)</em></div>
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“<img alt="" class="left" data-loading-tracked="true" src="https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/p/5/005/085/106/2802a8b.jpg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 30px 15px 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" />What’s <strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">always</strong> going to grab eyeballs on LinkedIn or any other social view-sharing platform,” observed my friend who is the India HR head for a large multinational corporation, “is content around rearing kids or any type of self-help… howsoever random and drivel!”</div>
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That’s an interesting thought. I’m not going to comment on the child-rearing content part – though I may have been guilty of clicking on anything that promises me insight into becoming a more effective parent (and more often than not been disappointed or shocked at what all is proposed!) – but the aspect on self-help and people’s desire to better their lives through following a capsule recommendation is an interesting observation. There is strangely limited critique of such self-help content - blogs suggesting ‘winning’ habits, sure-shot-success daily routines, the most magical brain-stimulating diets and shakes, the successful way to write your mails, how to handle escalations/manage teams/manage supervisors, best career tracks at any age in your life, and any millions of other possible topics – all get substantial views and are most likely to acquire viral status.</div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">So why have we become so needy?</strong></div>
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<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Our <strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">definitions of success</strong> are increasingly becoming more comparative. We need to compare ourselves with where others are at a point in time and measure our achievements in life through simplistic observations with those of others.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Our <strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">desire for validation</strong>: Social media is a direct commentary on how people like to announce pretty much anything via ‘updates’, and the most convenient (and least exertion) feedback is a ‘like’ for providing endorsement. There isn’t any such one-click reaction declaring: ‘big deal’, or ‘good for you!’ or ‘this is plain ridiculous’. We’re encouraging a behaviour of mindless endorsement and that recursively fuels our desire for more.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cost of failure is high</strong>, or perceived to be high: While life spans have become longer, ironically the tolerance to write off one approach/perspective towards anything and changing tracks to start afresh is decreasing. People need step-by-step validation further locking in a specific approach adopted towards just about anything.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We’re <strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">short of time</strong> to get ‘there’ in life: If a magic recipe or a prescriptive approach can deliver what ordinarily would require a greater deal of effort and dedication, then why not? When we were growing up, the mantra no-pain no-gain used to be the guiding principle in life. There was a perception that anything fought hard for was going to be more sustainable and give greater gratification. But today sustainability is not a consideration at all… neither in the micro aspects of life, nor in macro considerations. ‘Get Rich Quick’ techniques are extensively searched and furnished, but not many for ‘Stay Rich’; lots seek to ‘Get Thin’, less to ‘Stay that way’; lots try to ‘Keep your Spouse happy’, lesser interest in ‘how to be married for a lifetime’,</li>
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As a generation we’ve lost self-confidence and faith in our efforts yielding results. Getting to ‘be happy with what you have’ is increasingly more difficult and suddenly the first part of what my friend mentioned – pursuit of how to rear your child better – makes a lot more sense. When asked during my toddler’s school admissions process by distinguished looking school heads on how I would like my child to be, I seem to be mouthing fanciful yearnings for traits that are the exact antithesis what I am at this point in time! I would want my child to not grow on crutches of endorsements, take initiative based on his own convictions, have a distinct sense of the ‘self’, belief in his actions, and find contentment in the ‘now’. Hell, I would like to sign up for all this!!</div>
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Please don’t ‘Like’ this post… not only would that be ironical; I would also drown in the guilt of the pure pleasure it would give me. :)</div>
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-54394929271843050772014-07-11T18:31:00.000+05:302014-12-08T18:33:41.786+05:30ToTTiC...iC<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The <strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Only</em></strong> Thing That is Constant… Is Change</li>
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<img alt="" class="center" data-loading-tracked="true" src="https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/p/5/005/072/128/1127959.jpg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto 15px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;" /></div>
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<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The <strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Only <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Other</span></em></strong> Thing That is Constant… is that you’re going to hear bullet point #1 above over and over again <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ad nauseum</em> repeatedly over your lifetime sagely stated by people (invariably above you in the pecking order – parents, bosses, elders, leaders) as a vague response to distinct questions whatever be the context!</li>
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Of course Change is difficult. And the reason change is difficult is that most people live their lives creating multiple goals of different dimensions and seek to achieve those goals. And they feel a sense of accomplishment when they do reach where they wanted to (or a similar sense of accomplishment in just the pursuit). So to have such a status change is upsetting and no amount of bullet #1 helps to reassure that this is the way things are supposed to be and should be.</div>
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In our pursuit of Management best practices, change management and the ability to embrace change figures high in the list of skills that command a premium in the market place. Before Change Management became a proper noun, it just meant the ability to survive changed situations. In fact it’s not as incredibly difficult to acquire this ability as it is routinely made out to be. Just an open mind and a capability to think straight about change is enough:</div>
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<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Resist or restrict attachment to status quo:</strong> This is an all-encompassing statement and pertains to everything in an individual’s sphere of existence that is liable to change – personal life, professional life, ownership of products, relationship status, etc. The existential question that pops up is <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how committed or ‘genuine’ can we potentially be</em> and hence <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how effective can we be</em> if we’re creating a firewall between our inner self and anything outside of it? Attachment should be conveniently looked at at every stage… don’t deny yourself the gratification of attachment, but be prepared for that attachment to cease at the same time.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Other people don’t matter, or shouldn’t. Really!</strong> : One doesn’t change (i.e. clothes) in a glass house or with knowledge of other people watching. Because while we may call it privacy or civil behaviour, essentially our changing is a very private affair and we need our own space to get used to the change. We want to display ourselves post change only when <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">we’re a 100% satisfied with the results</em>. In all other spheres of life and all miscellaneous manners of change, the fundamental remains the same – <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">we’re perfect embracing a change <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">after</span> we’ve made a successful transition and are ready to show off to people we’re unwittingly offering ourselves up for judgment to</em>. Else we’re reluctant to even accept the same. <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Stop</span> thinking about others! This advice is not really to get rid of curtains in your changing area; it’s only to have a more concerted focus on your <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">own</span> self when faced with a change… it’ll make the change so much easier to internalize.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Have a diverse set of interests:</strong> As people grow, often lesser and lesser number of things becoming more and more prominent in life such that when there is change to any of those few remaining things, the entire world, rightly so, seems to be impacted. Keep the breadth of your interests alive. Keep your personal life active, your social life engaged.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Be emotionally mature & have faith:</strong> Yes this motherhood and appallingly condescending advice is genuine. When there is no looking back at what has changed, it’s logical that the only way to look is forward. The ‘new’ status is generally going to appear to be less attractive than the earlier status – this is true for even seemingly <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">positive</em> changes <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">(a promotion robs one of comfort of a known job; marriage robs one of independence; a justified salary increment brings additional responsibilities and an inexplicable salary increment brings a sense of suspicion)</em>. When things are beyond your control in any case and the change is irrevocable, it makes sense to believe in the concept of better things to come. Else the tendency to feel victimized and launch into self-pity robs you of any opportunity to recognize first-mover benefits from the change.</li>
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As an ending note, a discussion of change brings to mind a management development session in my business school in almost another lifetime. The distinguished grey haired, bespectacled, soft spoken instructor gently and, fully mindful of his hourly billing remuneration, slowly asked,<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> “Why do you dislike change… why… indeed why?”</em> And as is the observed trend with profound classroom wisdom, the response wafted in from the back row: <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">“it jingles in my pocket or makes my wallet lumpy. I prefer larger denomination notes!”</em></div>
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-54061998068893228102010-04-28T21:00:00.000+05:302015-03-27T11:06:56.950+05:30Peekaboo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Good old <span style="font-size: small;"><i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Readers_digest">Reader’s Digest</a></i></span> from my granddad's '50s-60s collection used to have a section on humour – amongst others – titled ‘Pardon, your slip is showing’. I don't think they have that section any more. And anyhow, it would no longer be relevant under the same title. The correct remark to make in today’s 21st century of strange dressing would be ‘Pardon, your slip is showing, but perhaps that’s intentional given your remarkably fancy straps!’</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Too many clothes seen on the street today are designed to show a bit of what’s inside. Like a watermelon-<i>wala </i>strategically displays a slice of his fine juicy red wares tantalizing the passerby with a promise of what lies ‘inside’. Similarly just too many articles of clothing today are designed such that they cannot stay balanced on the shoulder (or the hip), and just <i>have </i>to display some of the equally well designed underneath. I’m never sure of what is the acceptable correct reaction to such observations. Is one supposed to guiltily swing one’s glance away or is one supposed to drink in the entire panorama? Why the guilt, given that this is certainly not voyeuristic. Voyeurism has limited gratification if one has to expend no efforts to achieve titillation. Then again, if one is expected to keep stoic and casual, then how does one concentrate on the social exchange with such distractions literally staring in the face? Tough choice!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Another of those questions I’ve always been wanting to ask is – when women wear T-shirts with stuff written on them, is one supposed to read or not? Being a man of detail and being reasonably lettered, I have a natural tendency to linger on the text and drink in the wisdom. Some of the more profound statements warrant a second and third reading. But before you rush to judge me, I do that even when I’m reading the morning newspaper! Some cartoon strips are stirring enough to necessitate a second scan over. How then do I assure the arbitrary conclusion-jumper that my interest lies solely in the import of the transcript, and not on the canvas it’s painted on? And how do I convince the wearer of such wisdom, that my reading may not be necessarily speedy and/or sometimes the text font is cryptic and requires intense effort? My intent is noble while my eyesight may not be what it used to be. Me staring at you in the socially non-stareable region(s), with brows furrowed, teeth biting the lower lip, and the general tone of stiff concentration, is just me giving in to my most primitive need… <i>grasping of education.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Given that there have been substantial episodes of misunderstandings in my life on account of the above, I’m now practicing reading from the corner of my eyes. I play the memory game where I attempt to recollect and reconstruct items on a tray after just a quick scan. Not much luck at it, I'm afraid! I’m also learning to concentrate on a particular point, and read 6-8 inches lower. And I’m trying to live with the constant headache of attempting this!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Does anyone have any suggestions? Any that don’t end with getting a tight slap?</span></div>
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-4488661758735813612010-04-06T18:52:00.000+05:302015-03-27T10:50:42.866+05:30Do Bigha Zameen<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;">So I had hazarded the prospect of purchasing property given the typical Indian belief that failure to do so would imply that the next incarnation is going to be as a cockroach destined to spend life (i.e. <i>that </i>new life) in government built poorly maintained city sewer pipes. But I had no idea that property purchase tests financial wherewithal, infinite patience, good deal of physical stamina, and significant broker management skills. To the uninitiated, in India we have a broker for everything – license or passport application, electricity connection, bill payments, traffic ticket payments, marriage (bride hunting, wedding organization, marriage certificate application etc), child delivery, school admissions, movie tickets, train tickets, cancellation of train tickets… you get the idea, eh? If you’re traveling by the countryside and want to pee by a tree, the moment you stop the car, you’d be mobbed by ten representatives pointing out the best tree promising you the most pleasurable open-air draft-free splash-incident-resistant experience!<br />
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My broker by destiny was a perpetually smiling <i>sardarji</i>. “Bestest price is seventy two forty eight rupees per square foot,” he announced with the air of achievement as though he’d just given birth to twins! My brain multiplied that with 2000 square feet and calculated something that probably represented the number of stars in the universe. He wasn’t done though… ‘… plus we just add the EDC, IDC and PLC to the BSP, and then the IBMS and CMC. And if you have two cars then two CPCs will be added or one CPC compulsory and one OPC. Registration at 7% is at possession <i>ji</i>’. It is tough to abbreviate a single word, so I guess ‘Registration’ stood out in that entire spiel. The rest was like sitting in kindergarten and learning the alphabet. I wasn’t sure if I should ask for clarifications chronologically or alphabetically. I think the abbreviations have been created to confuse the ‘thinking’ prospective buyer and to mitigate the impact of the actual product of the <i>rate </i>x <i>units</i>. <br />
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Because Gurgaon, in particular, has the most exorbitantly priced property one can see anywhere. Tiny match box sized flats in towering multi-storey condos are priced in line with prices of some entire nations in Africa. My assessment is that Gurgaon must be home to the most optimistic target segment in the world. The quoted rate was, I’m convinced, sufficient to buy an entire oil field in Kuwait, factory fitted with Italian designed oil pumps. I think the general idea is that one can recover the cost of the flat by drilling for gas in the general neighbourhood of the living area though it might just require you – being on the 20th floor – to drill through 19 ceiling fans and perhaps a cheap chandelier or two. <br />
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The <i>sardarji </i>eventually managed to sell me a different property which, in the comparison of things, could at best promise a hot-water spring underneath as opposed to good ol’ petroleum. Given the space I could afford in pure square footage terms, it also promised my wife and me a lifetime of closeness and intimacy, to be shared in equal measures with any social invitee. I haven’t even got started about the bank and the loan and the interest yet!! Will save that for another blog. <br />
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Is it just me or does the cockroach and the government sewer suddenly seem like a damn attractive deal?<br />
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-62855553539438054152010-02-17T10:40:00.002+05:302015-03-27T10:58:26.976+05:30Needed: Electronic Fig Leaves<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;">I think the final state of airport security across the globe is going to be that technology would allow for people to have zippers in the soles of their feet. Check-in would involve unzipping these, gently rolling off your skin all the way over the top of your head, and placing these – warts, moles, tattoos, lipstick, rouge, liner and all – in plastic bags for the cargo hold. The flight itself would be fairly scary walking down the aisle, but would be 100% safe. </span></div>
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And my cynical conviction is borne from the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millimeter_wave_scanner">body-scanning</a> experience I had at the Denver airport a couple of months back. Randomly selected (yes, nothing to do with my name, nationality, complexion, gender, height, weight, clothing, bodily hair density, colour of eyes, bushiness of eyebrows, shoe size, right-handedness, teeth orientation, length of fingernails, etc). I was explained by an officially attired Huge Grouchy Man on exactly to what extent the machine would invade my privacy. ‘But we respect your dignity, sir’, said the HGM, ‘and these images are viewed at a remote site.’ So that was comforting… the guy who was seeing under my clothes was not at the airport itself, but at a ‘remote’ site… and if this followed the general pre-Obama BPO best practices, then this was possibly happening in India – probably from the same general complex where I had my office in the middle of BPO land!</span></div>
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The giant also explained how parts of the images were blurred to again protect ‘my modesty’. From the look on the illustration, the images were more graphic than porn from the early days of monochrome computers. Perhaps definition of modesty had changed. HGM then passed me through the magic chamber and then got into whispery conversations with his ‘remote operator’. They (seemed to) talk a bit about how my thick cargo pants had obscured a voyeuristically gratifying clear enough look and discussed grounds to pass me through again without my pants. Then (seemed to) snigger that I looked far fatter in the images than I did otherwise, and perhaps a second iteration wouldn’t be as satisfying as hoped. I got a ‘good to go’ nod and began a new life where embarrassing pictures of me could now appear on the internet. </span></div>
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Here’s what I think needs to be done to make this a win-win for the scanners and the scanees. Clearly the scanner goes down to depths where no-man-has-gone-before. I’m willing to suffer the indignity of this intrusion if these guys are willing to share a report with my Physician. I would love to see a periodic update on how my slipped disk (lower back, segment L4-L5) is doing since I’ve now been doing a good amount of Yoga. While in the chamber I’m more than happy to give a bit of blood/urine/stool sample so that these folks can verify that I don’t have explosives pumped in my blood stream, or stuffed in my bladder, and can also do a quick check on my haemoglobin, WBC, and platelet count. And if someone with low haemoglobin has a weapon strapped to his back and is disbarred from travelling, he can still rummage through the liquid bottles’ disposal bin to see if anyone has tossed in a tonic for the Hg treatment! Like I said… win-win!!</span></div>
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Back in BPO land: This twenty-something youngster in my common lift lobby kept staring at me top-to-bottom. Finally he leant across and whispered… ‘I normally keep very professional about my job mate, but that mole on your left inner thigh didn’t look good. Get it checked’. <br />
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-63116312371156551352010-02-06T15:09:00.003+05:302015-03-27T10:41:48.768+05:30Man Enough<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;">Dad spent the first thirty years of my life driving home the point – again and again – that I, as a significant representative of my entire generation, am too soft and entirely hopeless and can, at best, be compared to the sometimes gooey inclusions in a seafood dish that need to be carefully parked on the corner of the plate and disposed off later. Kept out of contact with the real tasty morsels lest the contact be contagious. <br />
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And with good reasons. As an ideal specimen of his subspecies of army officers who faced the challenges and dangers of the unknown, serving during the several wars our country fought, with heroic valor, he emerged a tough and disciplined product. Yes, I was quite a far cry from that stuff. He never missed an opportunity to tell me that I was the jelly in the larder filled with cookies, cakes and croissants. Mom was to blame, of course, and she never seemed too bothered with my lack of country-defending or world-changing characteristics, so in short we were a happy family at peace with internal dynamics.<br />
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My profession of choice in the grey world of IT and ITeS basically meant that there were no tangible takeaways from a typical day in office. No bruises to mend, no wounds to sew, no blood transfusion once in a while for good measure. As I shared the news of my promotion at home, Dad inquired hopefully, ‘So what would be your job now?’ ‘Umm… pretty much the same Dad,’ I began unsure of structure or content, but fully confident of the outcome. ‘It’s a more senior position, so more responsibilities and more respect and….,’ I stopped as Mom’s overpowering hug fortunately squeezed out the rest of what I didn’t know to say. ‘My babie, I’m soooo proud of you,’ Mom cooed. ‘Well, then, good for you, I guess,’ Dad smirked and got back to his newspaper. I just felt I’d been crowned Ms. Beautiful Smile in the Mr. Universe contest!<br />
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Cut to the present. Life teaches one a lot and I realized all the bravery need not be in the forests of the East or the snow-capped peaks of the North-West. I was now a professional working in the National Capital Region of Delhi – the tricities of Delhi, Gurgaon and Noida and having spent nearly three years at these coordinates, I finally had an answer to my Dad’s quips. <br />
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‘Dad, I drive,’ I volunteered, with a tough look on my face. The equivalent of an Arnold Schwarzenegger intense gaze though, of course, at half the height and one fourth the weight. ‘I drive in Delhi, Dad… I drive a car in Delhi!’ For the uninitiated – as was Dad too – driving in NCR was Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle personified… only the velocity or the exact position of any car around you could be determined with any accuracy. And sometimes that too was just a lucky guess. <br />
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The army-man needed proof and got some when I picked him up from the railway station to spend his first weekend with me. Weaving through the traffic with a few oh-gosh-that-was-close type brushes, I heard him gasping a bit loud over the FM channel. His eyes glazed over as in a jiffy a dozen cars crossed me from both sides simultaneously and two, I swear to God, hopped right over on top of mine. Clutching hard to his seat cushion, he breathed heavily, probably reliving some of the thorny memories from his adrenalin rushing days. I could almost smell a newfound respect for me as I nonchalantly did the typical Delhi road routine with grace. Just to drive home the point, I simultaneously began SMSing my wife while selecting a new music CD assessing the song listing critically, all at a comfortable speed of around eighty. ‘Careful Son, keep left!’ he suggested helpfully. ‘The enemy can spring from anywhere Colonel! We need to be flexible,’ I rattled back and swung a sharp right cutting across three rows of angry honking cars that evidently wanted to go straight. ‘Use the indicator… USE THE INDICATOR,’ he screamed. ‘No! That confuses the traffic. Plus it’s too much of a commitment – what if I decide I don’t want to turn after all..?’ He looked at me with pleading eyes. ‘The sign over there says that we should drive in our lanes, buddy,’ he tried the buddy approach with me. ‘Yeps Dad, that’s right. In Delhi you have two lanes, one for the traffic going, and one for oncoming. It’s good to keep on your side of the road, but then that’s only guidance.’ He gave up. From the corner of my eyes I saw him close his and (just maybe) mumble the first few lines of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanuman_Chalisa">Hanuman Chalisa.</a> They teach you well in the army how to recognize a war being fought at a level that’s a whole world different from your own skills, and the complete God-belief-karma routine swings into action mechanically I guess. <br />
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We made it home and I helped him hobble up to the elevator. Two shots of a Single Malt got him back his bearings. Another got him talking. ‘So Business Development must be very challenging son….'<br />
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-51252045854893851982010-02-03T23:26:00.001+05:302015-03-27T10:40:22.508+05:30Russian Dense Delight<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I baked a chocolate cake today… ahem… actually it was a Russian Dense Delight cake with almonds and walnuts. Much before an MBA made me smarter at BS, one of the first things I learnt in my job as a Software engineer was that very often ‘a bug could be sold as a feature’. Yet earlier Mommy had taught a young and impressionable me the art of how a fried egg gone all wrong could actually be a scrambled egg gone all right. Coupled with the right expressions it just worked perfectly. ‘Hey I thought I heard you say scrambled; fried, sunny-side up, was it? Sorry!’ was the only additional garnishing required.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">But the real reason that my creation became the Russian-dense-delight-with-nuts is lesser to do with a personal process goof-up and more to do with the place I stay in. The Millennium city, as it is known for some unfathomable reasons, loses power for about 8 hours a day, has an irregular water supply, has little or no public infrastructure to talk about, and crumbling roads that wash away every few months. Legend has it that the Administration is actually extremely dedicated to development and almost dying to provide better roads, 24x7 electricity and all the fancy works, but is terrified that doing so would contrast horribly with the name of the town. They’re worried that they may be inviting unnecessary judicial action and found guilty of willful deception by providing <i>sheher </i>like amenities in what is decidedly a semantic <i>gaon</i>. They’ve pleaded with the residents to consider changing the name to Gur<i>sheher </i>to allow for consistency with their plans of development, but then the residents of the town took enough and more time in getting to learn how to spell the name of the town (or visually recognizing it on a board without actually spelling it), and are in no mood for an iteration in unlearning and learning. Meanwhile, the Legend continues, the Administration is churning out wonderful butter smooth roads but rolling them up and storing them in a warehouse alongwith drums and drums of 24x7 power supply waiting for the impasse to end and being allowed to comply with their karmic duties.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">So much for the Legend… back to my cake.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">As anyone who’s ever baked a cake in life would understand, it’s a fairly skilled trade. In particular, the actual baking has to be considered akin to being pregnant. As many people who bake cakes are likely to become pregnant (though not on account of baking cakes, of course!), I’m sure this point is well understood. You really cannot spread the 0-9 months of a pregnancy over a 2 year period in short and comfortable intervals of 2 months at a time. Similarly the cake begs to be oven-ed for 45 mins in one single stretch and the observant bystander or the anxious creator can almost sense the mix of emotions within the cake as it strives to achieve baked adulthood from a tumultuous batterhood – experience its troubled teen equivalents with acne like liquid bubbles gently settling in and creating their permanent place in life; participate in the cake’s equivalent of young adulthood – the tiny fissures in the surface becoming wrinkles of experience; and finally delight in its acquiring maturity – developing of the crust of wisdom over the soft heart of pure potential within. Ah! And the smell of perfection – of a parenthood gone right and your little baby all grown, now standing in front of you in all the finery of sensibility and handsomeness rolled up into one.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">But my chocolate-nuts cake wasn’t to be so. Baked in sporadic bursts of 10 minutes with ominous blackout intervals stretching into hours, it was the chocolate prodigy which was never to be. To be fair, it yearned – every single interval of temperature opportunity – it sought to rise to the expectations of my hopeful eyes outside the glass partition. But eventually youth ran out and maturity set it. And my silent pleas didn’t work. I didn’t have the doctor/engineer offspring I had planned on. My child was ‘differently abled’.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The proof of the pudding – said the wise men – lies in the taste. My Chocolate-Nut cake christened Russian Dense Delight was sliced amongst a fairly diverse group of connoisseurs of fine food later in the evening. Amongst exclaims of ooohs and aaaha and ‘you <i>have </i>to tell us!!’ and ‘how <i>rich </i>and <i>fullish</i>!’ and ‘my my, what <i>texture</i>!” I was mobbed for the recipe of the scrambled egg that started life as a fried sunny-side-up. I didn’t flinch a facial muscle as I gravely prescribed the mandated heating pattern. ‘Exactly 10 minutes at 180 Fahrenheit and then a cool off for about an hour and a half. Repeat exactly 4 times. You get it wrong, and you’ll lose the texture. Yes, yes, it’s not really an easy bake, I know.’</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Hell, just bake it in Gurgaon. You can’t get it wrong!</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2163887288260856653.post-51010438972758323422010-01-31T21:06:00.002+05:302015-03-27T10:31:32.927+05:30That Syncing feeling<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Ever had the sinking feeling? Or the less talked about but equally depressing syncing feeling? I’ve conceded that it’s pretty much impossible for our generation to escape it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The first few days my wife got a <a href="http://www.blackberry.com/">Blackberry</a> were incredibly painful. One night I’d just seen <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179904/">Paranormal Activity</a> and quietly slunk into bed drawing the covers over my head. Understandably had a spot of trouble sleeping. Somewhere in the middle of the night the strong feeling that something wasn’t quite right jolted me from sleep. I got up gingerly to see the wife sitting erect in bed, ramrod straight. Wisps of hair covering half her face, and hands clasped together as though in prayer… an eerie glow on her face, a subtle blue light dancing in her eyes. ‘Darling,’ I squeaked, ‘is everything alright?’ ‘Now it is,’ said she, with what was probably a sheepish smile, but in the mood lighting appeared sinister. ‘Wasn’t syncing, now it seems to be okay,’ and she let a little more backlight escape the Blackberry she had clasped in her hands showing the progress bar indicating 90% sync fulfillment. It was like someone on a ventilator had discovered that the oxygen pipe was under his butt and had just rolled it out from under him to get a new lease of breath and life. Zombie like behaviour from the Mrs. have become commonplace now. It is perfectly normal to see her standing facing a wall seemingly motionless and oblivious to human presence waiting for some more syncing to happen.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I risked admonishing her for this obsession just once. ‘Should we just let the email sync on only weekdays and just leave it off otherwise,’ I suggested hopefully. ‘Oh yes? And mail syncing is all that constitutes an obsession?’ she responded and carried on texting with just one finger. Was it possible that she was talking about the movies’ collection on my desktop that needed syncing with my external hard disk daily; my external hard disk which needed syncing daily with my Wi-Fi media streamer database; my music collection that needed to be synced across two music players and one music hard disk; the phone contacts that needed to be synced with my desktop morning and evening at least and a couple of times in between just in case. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The pace of life today is such that the moment to sit and introspect and smell-the-flowers – so to say – is not part of the daily schedule. Some days I’m tempted to put it in my calendar that I need to do the smelling flower routine, but related logistics are really tough to negotiate. Perched on the 6th floor of a multistory with a balcony big enough only for the clothesline and the washing machine, the closest flowers are in that yonder far green patch in a school garden visible only remotely, and really challenge the olfactory senses. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">There was a time when one could switch off from those activities one was <i>expected </i>to do in life and spend a little time with those things one <i>wanted </i>to do in life. School could be left behind, homework could be slammed shut, tuitions could be returned from, even (later in life) office once used to be that grey dreary building that used to be the prison of choice only between 9:00 hour and 18:00 hours. That was the era where phones had leashes restraining them to that slot in the wall, work stations referred to the springy chair and static desk and work hours were defined and time slotted. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Not so now! The domesticated pet demanded that the leash be ridden. The big black Labrador with a rotary dial became the Chihuahua with backlit musical keypads, and crept into our pockets to stay there as long as it didn’t need to be fed from a wall socket. The work station curled up into sleek 13 inch LCD panels longingly beseeching us to swing them over our shoulders and make them a part of ourselves. And the incredible intrusion in our lives doesn’t stop with this! The phone rings or vibrates and calls just have to be received; the tinkle announces a text message, and SMSes just have to be read and replied to; the mails just cannot do without being answered immediately. Savita from the bank just <i>has </i>to sell us that credit card and demands an explanation if we can’t oblige; Millionaire builders have launched a new tower and you just <i>have</i> to invest in them; Skimpy Designers have a 50% off on the price, and nearly 80% off on the bodily coverage area, and this special offer is <i>only </i>for today. 15 years back these guys would have typed two lines on a 15 paisa post card and dispatched it to my home address. I may or may not have seen it for weeks. Even when delivered to my table, it would be instantly recognized as spam and dropped in the bin. Today it’s an SMS. The postcard has effectively rolled into a missile and is shoved up my nose and I just have to plug it out, unroll it and react instantly. Failure to do so would mean that the missile remains up my nose and that little unread icon stays on my mobile screen begging to be released from its prison of unreadhood to the nirvana of readhood. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Yes, the real impact of global warming is not that the continents are sinking, but that every single person on those continents is syncing. Life is limited to little moments between ‘database updated’ messages, which is valid only until someone somewhere chooses to destroy the equilibrium by yet another mail, music video, or a new movie necessitating a requirement to update yet again. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Distressing! I could go on and on but my scheduler announces that it’s time to break to go spend with the flowers. I need to be nimble and alert… they appear only for two seconds every eight minute on my screen saver!</span></span></div>
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Mukulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02873665937118348627noreply@blogger.com4