Thursday, May 7, 2015

Pledge your eyes for after you die; Donate your eyeballs right now!

Internet monetization demands the-next-click-quick. And the fickle, voyeuristic, interested, intrigued, or just plain perpetually-bored-stiff-with-nothing-to-do nature of the human mind is so ludicrously evident when one looks at what all is being done to catch our attention.
Here is a sample from a typical FB feed-clutter observed over one calendar day:
  • This will just blow your mind away
  • 40 things that you did not know about . #38 nearly made me cry.
  • Never before seen pictures of
  • He was just standing in queue. What he did next will shock you.  
  • This mother was just standing up for her values. What she says next will bring tears to your eyes
  • This made me cry…
  • 15 things that can change the way you look at life forever. #14 made me a different person
  • This is a brilliant quiz. I found #36 very tricky.
  • WTF! Did I just see this right?
  • Shocking Video that made the whole world cry!!!!
  • The most adorable child you’ll ever see…
  • The first dance was epic. Wait till you see what happens next…
If it were not so infuriating, this would be just amazing and nothing short of  phenomenally magical. The amount of research that has gone into putting together THAT ONE TANTALIZING message that can entice one to click further is pure genius. Similar research channelized towards World Hunger or Green Energy could have long solved our dominant global problems. But evidently shortening the Mean-Time-From-EyeBall-To-Click (MTF-ETC) seems to be THE problem to solve instead!
At heart I’m a marketing professional and understand all the drivers of lure. The packaging, the messaging, the catch-lines, and the fancy promises very often overshadow the product and perhaps they need to  - what with the amount of competition existing and the need to get your product noticed. What’s happening now, however, is that there is no product at all!! There is just this clutter mess of nuisance bombarding your online personal space (if there by anything called personal space online any longer), in a bid to record the fact that you visited a page and perhaps glanced over the adverts floating around.  
They say that restraint builds character. How well you manage to stand your ground in the face of temptations is what defines your moral fiber. Don’t drive till you’re 18; don’t drink till you’re able to afford to; don’t gamble your parents’ money; don’t get laid before marriage (some conditions and gender specificity applies)… !
To all those (human or otherwise) polluting my FB feed and getting a kick out of trying to make me click to take me to  a site that adds no value to my existence, and goading me to see #16 as it may change my life, I have news…. I’ m not biting! I’m building character through abstention… I don’t care about #16 and the other fifteen before that, and the fact that I’m not clicking is what gives ME a kick… honestly!
To all those noble folks who've pledged to donate their eyes, please let’s save some miles on the eyeballs while we’re still using them. 

5 comments:

  1. Very tempted to post this on fb :-)

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  2. Another well-written piece Mukul. An interesting and very convincing angle given to otherwise not so novel an idea. Good marketing :)

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  3. What an interesting piece!!!. In Today's times there are so many distractions, and it does take a lot of effort to only stick to what is IMPORTANT ... Thank God- I escaped the 'Facebook-Mania'... :)

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